There’s always that girl in the 90’s chick flicks whose sheer beauty and grace gets her all the guys in school. Sure, this girl exists, but for the rest of us, making ourselves irresistible to men needs a little more elbow grease and a couple years of making fashion faux pas before getting it right.
Trust me, I was chubby until I was 18 years old and wore skater shoes, I know the struggle. If you’re a tomboy or a wallflower, being unnoticed by guys is a daily activity. It’s like being a tree. Well, listen, you don’t have to spend the next couple years going unnoticed and third wheeling it on your friend’s date—you can go on your own dates. By the end of this feature, you’ll have no problem attracting attention.
How to be irresistible to men: 14 secrets to making their heads turn
There is no exact science to the laws of attraction. However, it’s been observed these qualities are found to be more desirable to men. But you don’t need to have all of these qualities.
However, when reading these suggestions, be self-aware and see if you maybe already have some of these attributes. You’re not that far off from being irresistible to men as you think you are.
#1 Be confident. Confidence is key. You can’t argue that. If you’re confident, you could wear a paper bag as a dress and look like a supermodel. So many women assume confidence comes with having the perfect body and flawless makeup, but it’s not that at all. It’s showing the world you value yourself and you see your own self-worth. Did I just go a little Oprah moment there?
If you’re hiding behind a face full of makeup or you’re wearing sweatpants every day to hide your thighs, it’s time to change that. Not only are men able to read that insecurity like a book, but you’ll struggle in progressing as a person.
#2 Have some mystery. I used to sit with my legs open and snort when I laughed. I discovered, the hard way, that men appreciate a little mystery. They also like when you don’t share similar mannerisms to a farmer *take notes on that*.
You don’t have to tell the guy you’re interested in all your personal details. He doesn’t need to know about your past relationship drama or your fear of pig’s feet. Let’s keep that to ourselves until you land the third date. Mystery keeps men wanting to find out more about you, making you irresistible. Not bad, eh?
#3 You stay clear of drama. Men don’t like drama. And though they may enjoy some gossip now and then, they don’t appreciate it when the drama is being produced by someone they may be interested in. This huge red flag turns men off. Who wants to be with someone who constantly talks about other people behind their backs? Exactly.
So, next time you want to gossip, perhaps save it for your best friend, or even better, don’t share it. This isn’t an episode of Gossip Girl.
#4 Show your softer side. If you want to be irresistible to men, you need to reinforce this idea that there’s nothing wrong with playing sports and getting your hands dirty. Men love a girl who can hold their own ground and play rough. However, they also like femininity. This doesn’t mean you have to ditch playing baseball or drinking beer, you can do all that, but don’t be afraid to also tap into your feminine side.
There’s this stigma against showing femininity. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re unintelligent. It just shows them that you’re capable of tapping into all parts of who you are. Watch Miss Congeniality, Sandra shows you the way.
#5 Be independent. This applies to everyone, everywhere. No one likes a stage five clinger. Just because there’s a guy in your life doesn’t mean your life is now completely over. Guys love women who don’t change their entire world for them.
Men also have things they want to do, maybe watch a hockey game or hang out with their friends alone. Sure, if he invites you, go. But showing him that you go out without him and do things on your own is a huge turn on.
#6 Be relaxed. If you’re five minutes late for your dinner reservations and you’re breaking out in a stress sweat, you need to calm down. Guys aren’t into women who freak out about every little thing. So take a deep breath and settle down. Enjoy life. It’s not meant to be lived with continuous stress and fear. If you’re relaxed, he’ll be relaxed and feel much more comfortable around you.
#7 Don’t be afraid to laugh. Laugh! Laugh until you cry. Try not to laugh until you pee your pants—it’s happened to me. I managed to pull it off, however, that was a once in a lifetime moment. So, the lesson here—carry extra underwear. Laughing between people creates trust and intimacy. You want that.
Now, you don’t need to laugh at every single thing or pull a fake laugh—he’ll notice. Be genuine with your laugh and he’ll appreciate it. It’ll also boost his ego.
#8 Eye contact. The eyes are the window to the soul. Yes, I know, a cliché, but it’s the truth. Eye contact is a great way to use nonverbal communication. It also makes the person feel important and singled out *in a good way*. If you’re interested in him, look at him when he talks. Don’t do a creepy, stalker stare. That may end up with the reverse effect… hello, restraining order.
#9 Hygiene. This one is simple. If you’re not big on the whole bathing routine, that’s fine, I get it. Let’s aim for a shower once a day and possibly a laundry cycle once a week—baby steps. If you do the basics, you’ll be fine.
Men like clean women. You don’t have to look like Mr. Clean, but, not smelling from last night’s dinner is appreciated. I mean, come on, you want a guy who smells good, right? Same goes for you.
#10 Don’t be impatient. I know, you want that first date so badly. However, texting him 50 times a day and stalking him on Facebook changes nothing. You have to be patient. Men don’t like to feel pressured to make choices or be suffocated. Just relax and take it day-by-day.
#11 Take pride in how you look. Are you still wearing your sweatshirt from grade nine because it stills fits? Congratulations, but it’s time for you to donate that. There is no way that is still in style. Take pride in how you look.
You don’t need to look like a Barbie doll if you want to be irresistible to men, but you can put a couple extra minutes in picking out something nice to wear and removing your hair out of your two-day bun. This isn’t about upstaging other women, showing pride in your appearance shows you value yourself.
#12 Cut the negative Nancy attitude. This sucks. That’s boring. Ew, I would never do that. Oh great, negative Nancy has arrived. Are there any men in a fifty-mile radius around you? Probably not. And unless hygiene isn’t your thing, it’s probably because your energy is bringing people down.
It’s time to look at the brighter side of life. People want to be around people who make them feel good. If you want to be irresistible to men, be positive and enjoy life.
#13 Ignore them… for a bit. If you put everything on a silver platter, sure it looks nice, but they already know they have that as an option. Play hard to get. I know, I know, love shouldn’t be about games. This isn’t about games. This is about showing them you’re not just going to fall into their laps. They need to work and sweat a bit. It’s healthy for them—cleans the pores.
#14 Talk about what you love. People glow when they talk about things they’re interested in. Your energy also increases when you’re discussing topics that interest you. This is what engages men into a further conversation and possibly a date. Do you like cooking? Talk about cooking. Do you like rollerblading? Talk about it! Excite them with things that interest you, and they’ll be interested in trying it out with you.
Being irresistible to men isn’t as hard as it seems. It’s really about loving and being yourself. If you work on these factors, you’ll be able to hook any guy within miles of you