Many years ago, an American woman, then 12 years old, told everybody that when she grew up, she would talk and be paid. Today, she is the richest and most popular in talk show. Her name is Oprah.
There is also the story of a young boy who from day one on entering my alma mater, St Peter’s School, Nkwatia Kwahu, kept telling his friends he would be a medical officer.
He was far below average in class and nobody gave him a dog’s chance to make it. Today, he is an accomplished medical specialist.
These two people are what they are today because they had vision for their lives and worked at it. A vision is an imagination or mental picture of a realistic future state of things. All great men and partners in fulfilling relationships have a vision.
The power of the mind
Your mind is the greatest weapon you have because it controls everything that happens in your life. With your mind, you create ideas which later becomes a reality. Your mind is, therefore, like a computer and your ideas become the software.
You work on the principle of GIGO (garbage in garbage out). If you think of failure in your relationship, you will surely fail. If you float in your relationship nothing happens.
On the other hand, if you think success, you win. Your relationship is, therefore, controlled by your thoughts. It will be what you think about it and want it to be. What happens to your relationship in the future is a measure of your vision.
What to do
Know yourself and what you want in your relationship because if you do not know what you want, you may accept anybody who comes your way.
Clearly identify where you are, where you want to be and how to get there. You may decide to date, court and marry in three years.
You may also decide when to start a family, your family size, parenting style, short and long-term plans.
Know your strengths
A good relationship needs positive mental attitude, mutual trust, companionship, appreciation, unconditional love, effective communication and a forgiving spirit.
You must also have a good understanding of God’s plan for marriage, purpose of marriage and your role in a marriage. You must also watch out for your weaknesses and make efforts to get better.
Some of the biggest threats in marriage are selfishness, dishonesty, constant criticism, immorality, intolerance, inequality and poor communication
Have a mission and vision statement and stay focused on them. Appreciate that a relationship is about imperfect human beings in an imperfect world. Changes and conflicts are bound to happen.
On regular occasions, make time to discuss the strengths, weaknesses, threats and opportunities in your relationship to ensure you are moving towards your goal.
Sometimes you may have to review and adjust your plans but persevere and keep working at your goal. Look beyond your challenges and press on.
Celebrate your relationship because relationships celebrated grow in strength. Celebrate the progress and success you have no matter how small they may be because they motivate you to do better.
If nothing at all, celebrate the fact that you have resolved to share all areas of your life to build a happy future. A drink, walk or meal with few close friends will do.
Any vision for your relationship?
Hellen Keller who was blind said the only thing worse than being blind was to have sight without vision. The Good Book says where there is no vision the people perish
Your relationship is, therefore, a function of your vision and how you work at it. Therefore irrespective of your environment and challenges, dream big about your relationship and work hard at it. See it in your mind’s eye and feel it.
If you stay committed to your dreams and work at it, good things will happen to your relationships. On the other hand, nothing good will happen to your relationship until you have a vision for it.
The message is simple; if you dream big about your relationship and work hard at it, you will have a fulfilling relationship. On the other hand, if you do not have anything to live for in your relationship, you will not have anything to live on.
Therefore do not just float in your relationship because it may lead you to an uncertain future. Keep dreaming big about your relationship.
It will be like placing an order in a restaurant; it will come to you as you order it. If you dream big about your relationship and work at it, it will come to pass