Marriage is something we all look forward to. Many women will admit that they plan their wedding day when they’re in high school. While boys are busy playing football and getting dirty with their mates without a care in the world, girls will be sitting around dreaming wistfully about their pretty wedding dress, honeymoon and idyllic future life!
Although marrying your dream man is often the happiest day of your life, it often isn’t long before the honeymoon is over. Before you know it, you’ve been living with your Prince Charming for over a year. Doesn’t time fly! This is when the problems start: you get so comfortable with your spouse that you start doing certain things you would never have dreamed of doing before. Let’s take a look at what these are, and how you can avoid changing, once you get too comfortable with your husband.
Lack Of Respect
Before the two of them got wed, a wife had a lot of respect for her husband. She was charming around him in public, polite, sensitive, and never spoke out of turn.
Now that she’s married, he’s a pig and everyone should know that he’s a pig!
When wives get too comfortable with their husbands, it can be easy to forget certain boundaries and rules of etiquette. It can be easy to start badmouthing their spouse in public, and in front of their friends. But this is not only disrespectful, it’s also embarrassing and humiliating.
Lack Of Intimacy
Yes, we all know that the desire to make love is stronger when we first meet our partner. He makes us go weak at the knees, causes butterflies in out stomach, and makes us think about him all the time.
This appetite often wanes as we get a bit older and become more comfortable with him. And when a woman marries their man, intimacy can sometimes disappear altogether. But this is often the death knell for any marriage. If you are struggling for intimacy and desire, you should seek medical counsel. Your spouse will be wondering why you don’t want to make love, so it isn’t fair to leave him in the dark.
The Need To Be Right
When we first start dating our man, we want to please him. For this reason, we agree with the things he says, not wanting to upset him or cause conflict.
When we get married, though, it’s a whole different story. We suddenly have a desire, a need to always be right. We counter his arguments with our own arguments, we put our foot down when we don’t need to, and we won’t back away from a fight.
There is no need for this. What your marriage needs is rationality and a willingness to admit when you are wrong.
Forgetting To Ask The Little Things
Remember before you got married when it were the little things that really mattered?
The “Hi, how was your day chats?”
The packing of his lunches for work.
The date nights.
When we get married, we sometimes get so comfortable that we forget all about these little things. In between cleaning the house, going to work and preparing dinner, we forget to pay attention to our spouse. We just assume he’s fine and that things are ticking over smoothly. But they aren’t always.
Not Giving Him Space
Before marriage, a woman entertains the idea that her man should have his own space to do what he wants. He should be able to see his friends, have video game nights, and get a season ticket to watch his favourite team.
Once married, though, issues about space can begin to creep in. Now that a man is hers, it can be easy for a woman to be more demanding about his time. Rather than allowing him to see his friends on a Sunday, he should instead spend it with his wife and her family.
This just isn’t fair or workable. You need to continue giving your husband space, even if he is your husband now.
Wanting Him To Change
Okay, so research has suggested that a wife’s happiness can increase if their husband makes the changes to his lifestyle that she wants. But this certainly isn’t always the case, and it often takes you to make the change first.
Focusing on your own career and the person you want to be is the key to a successful relationship. If you spend all your time nagging your husband, trying to convince him to change this and that, it’s only going to lead to conflict and misery.
They “Deserve Better”
If you ever say that you deserve better to your husband, you’re walking on very thin ice. These are words that should be left unsaid, even if you feel as though you deserve better.
Wives who get comfortable with their spouse and decide that they deserve better than what they’re getting are only going to create conflict and resentment. If you feel as though you deserve more, communicate with your husband and try to inspire change in him and your marriage.
They Neglect Themselves
Before we marry our husband, we work extra hard to get the perfect body that he wants us to have. Not just that, but we also want to squeeze into our wedding gown!
After we’ve married Prince Charming, though, there is a tendency to forgo our workout regimes. And a green diet supplemented by cabbage juice? Forget it!
After all, if our husband truly loves us, he’ll love us no matter what happens to our body.
This is just laziness. You need to retain self-respect, as well as respect for your husband. It’s your duty to take good care of yourself, not just for your looks but for the sake of your health.
They Forget All About Those Big Plans
So you wanted two cars, a bigger house, and perhaps even two kids?
But now that you’re married and comfortable, you suddenly don’t feel like putting in the extra work to achieve those things. Can’t you both just stay in with a film and some snacks?
All the plans you made before you got wed need to be kept. He wants to keep them, and you’ve got a responsibility to keep them for the sake of your marriage.