When we are in love, we can all feel the odd pang of jealousy occasionally; it’s a natural part of our feeling protective of someone that we care about. If you let that jealousy consume you though, it can become a really big problem in a relationship. It will make you suspicious of everything your partner does and says, and have you mistrusting his every word and your constant doubts about your partner could eventually drive them away. If you think you are in danger of letting your jealous nature damage your relationship, read these ten tips on how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.
1. Face up to the fact that you are being jealous
As with all emotional issues like this, the very first thing you have to do is accept the fact that you are being over-jealous. Don’t jump straight in and accuse your partner of something, just explain to them that what they are doing is making you feel jealous. Talk about the issue and you will both be able to understand the situation better.
2. Stop comparing yourself to other people
This is another important tip on how to overcome jealousy in a relationship. Jealousy is often caused by a person’s own low self-esteem. Accept the fact there will always be someone who you think is better looking than you, richer than you, or funnier than you, but it was you who your partner chose to be with. Stop making comparisons with other people and focus on the good things that you and your partner have instead.
3. Don’t judge this partner based on a prior bad experience
Your jealousy might be being caused because you have had a bad experience in the past. Perhaps an old boyfriend cheated on you, so you assume that this one will too. It’s really unfair to tar everyone with the same brush in this way and it can be very upsetting if someone does it to you. Let the past go and judge your partner on what he does, not in what someone else did in the past.
4. Remind yourself of all the times your jealousy was unfounded
Here is another good tip on how to overcome jealousy: when you feel your jealousy rising to the surface, try and think back to all the other times you felt this way and it turned out that your jealousy was completely unfounded. Think about the time that you have checked up on your partner, only to find he was at the office, just like he said he would be. Think of all the times you thought he was leaving you and then remind yourself that he’s still with you today.
5. Remember that jealousy won’t achieve anything anyway
Let’s not beat around the bush here; if he’s going to cheat on you, being jealous isn’t what will stop him! It may sound a bit harsh, but, you’d be far better off using all the time and energy you are wasting on being jealous, making the relationship so great that he’s never even going to think of cheating on you.
6. Don’t let your imagination run wild
Jealousy is also often fed by the imagination and you turn the fact that he’s stuck in traffic on the way home, into the belief that he’s with another woman. Look at the facts and not the fiction. He’s probably more annoyed that he’s stuck in traffic than you are!
7. Believe that you are loved
This point might sound a little bit too obvious, but he probably trusts you, so why not trust him in return. Trust really is a vital part of a relationship and, if you don’t have it, then you need to try and nurture it. It could be that you have just got so much into the habit of not trusting him that you can’t help yourself thinking that way. Try and break that viscous circle, let all that jealousy go, and just see what happens.
9. Try to take a detached view of how you are behaving
Imagine a friend came to you and said that she had the same jealous feelings about her partner as you do about yours. You’d probably tell her that she was imagining things and that she should try to be a bit more logical about it.
10. Remember that you are an individual
More often than not, jealousy in a relationship is born out of a fear of losing a person. Unfortunately, this is another hard fact to face, but, accept the fact that, yes, you might one day lose your partner. It would be painful and unpleasant but, you would survive because you are an individual person in your own right. If you can stop fearing what you think might happen, you might be able to get your jealousy more under control and enjoy what you have today.
How to overcome jealousy in a relationship? What are your best tips?