If you’ve been in relationships that did not last or if you are having trouble finding someone you want to pursue a long-term relationship with, the idea of having a long and happy relationship may seem impossible to achieve. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to improve the quality and duration of your relationship. Understand your needs and wants
Understanding your own emotional and physical needs before you enter a relationship is important because you will need to be able to communicate these needs to your significant other if you want to have a successful relationship. You might already have a clear idea of what you need and want in a relationship, but if you’re unsure, you can think about these questions.
• Reflect on past relationships to gain insight into why those relationships did or did not work. What can these experiences tell you about your needs?
• Think about how you react to people and events. For example, do you tend to react emotionally, find it hard to trust someone, or find it difficult to express your feelings? It can be helpful to be aware of these personality traits before you enter a serious relationship.
Choose your partner wisely. If you are hoping to develop a happy, long-term relationship, you need to choose your significant other carefully. It’s a common perception that opposites attract, but researchers have found that individuals who share some common goals, interests, and expectations often have more satisfying relationships
• Your personality traits don’t have to be the same, but if you each want different things from the relationship you will have a hard time making it last.
• Think about whether your differences complement each other. For example, someone who is more impulsive might balance someone who is more of a planner.
These other tips are also relevant in having a long and happy relationship.
1. Choose your partner wisely.
2. Be realistic.
3. Don’t try to change your significant other.
4. Build friendship.
5. Don’t feel like you have to do everything together.
6. Be generous with one another.
7. Don’t feel rushed.