Day 3: Joy FM marriage seminar: Look before you leap, ‘lovey-dovies’ cautioned

joyThe marriage counselor Mrs Mary Asare-Yeboah showed she was a disciple of relaxed speech. Not too eager to convince the crowd through forceful speech, preferring to allow the intrinsic truths in her words do the talking than peppering up the talk with emotional additives.

Young dating ‘lovey-dovies’ must “look before they leap” i.e, take the “red flags” in the relationship seriously, she said.

Because with 600,000 divorces in 2014 alone in Ghana, there can be no greater truth than the fact that “love is not enough”.

About 600,000 lovebirds got the bird flu of disillusionment and like the way infected birds go, the marriage was destroyed.

The dimly lit conference center allowed the audience to brood over the words instead of looking and staring at others inattentively. Everybody there in a relationship could not rule out the fearful possibility that 600,000 divorces could be any of them.

But they silently mumbled ‘God forbid’ to banish the thought.

Mrs. Mary Asare-Yeboah used biblical references to explain her topic “Is love the only pre-requisite for successful marriage?”

And examples of disastrous marriages invariably brings up the story of Samson. She demonstrated that the pure adrenaline of love is the purest form of self-deception that mostly results in the rhetorical statement, “had I known”.

She argued that if young people took the time to sit in class, write exams and get a masters, then what stops young people from applying some diligence of studying, scrutinizing with a fine comb the life, personality and backgrounds of prospective partners?

It makes sense, doesn’t it?

She asked those dating to consider family background and even the position of the partner in the family. For example, if your boyfriend is the first of five siblings then adjust to the reality that he will still have to shoulder some responsibilities from his family after you get married.

No need to shove into his face, the scriptures that says ‘and the man and woman shall become one flesh’ as a basis to insist that he concentrates on your needs all the time.

And if she is the only child then the man must expect and appreciate that his wife’s mother will be hovering around the marriage almost irresistibly.

She even added that thanks to the legalization of gay marriage in Uncle Sam and the general sexual perversion these days, you may have to check if your partner is straight or gay.

Sounds ridiculous until you actually find yourself at the end of but jokes.

Mrs Asare-Yeboah said love is “essential” but character is “extremely vital”. If he or she is a quicked-tempered person, that here is a little lesson for dummies.

Place the letter ‘D’ in front of the word ‘anger’ and whatever you get should be sufficient for a decision.

Mrs. Asare-Yeboah wants young lovers to check the family background for drunkenness, infidelity, harlots, murderers, wife-beaters and “take counsel” before taking a decision.

She couldn’t have forgotten the importance of a man’s vision and the need for women to choose a man with vision over a man with a television, otherwise you will watch the man with vision on your husband’s television, the popular joke on social media goes.

But above all, the marriage counselor wants would-be couples to be prayerful and seek God’s wisdom in taking decisions.

The third day of the Joy FM Bridal Fair has been buzzing. Saturday has proved a market day for would-be brides and groom. Don’t be surprised to see fairly old women shopping with their daughters.

The 10 cedis ticket for the marriage seminar played no role in discouraging the numbers. The attendance was impressive.

Even the married were there with their kids, a sign that for them, Joy FM is not just a radio station. It is a power station that throws the light of knowledge into marital homes.