First dates can often be a nerve-wracking experience, which is why you shouldn’t blame yourself if you happen to steer the conversation somewhere mildly embarrassing. After all, who can help spilling a drink before quickly shouting out the first question that pops into their head to change the subject and therefore distract the guy from the fact that wine is literally everywhere?!
“SO! What what was your ex like? Do you still love her? Um, I mean, I didn’t mean to ask that. You don’t need to answer, sorry!”
And don’t get me started on small talk. When it’s clear that the conversation has petered out, we rely on small talk to get things going again. But small talk can be so boring, cliched – and awkward.
So just in case you’ve got a date lined up and you’re wondering what to talk about on a first date, let’s take a look at the 9 conversation topics that you really need to stay away from.
Yes, even if you do spill your wine everywhere and need something to turn the attention elsewhere, bringing up the subject of exes is not a good idea.
Not only do they not care to talk about their exes, but they also don’t care to hear about yours either!
Bringing up your ex-lover during conversation will only hint to the guy that you’re still interested. Even if you dwell on the fact that he was just awful or insane, your first date will get the impression that, hey, perhaps you’re still pining to go back to him and his crazy ways.
2. What Are You Both Looking For?
All ladies want to know if they have a glimmer of a chance with a guy. We want to know if we’re his type, and so it might be that you end up asking what he is looking for.
You need to resist, though. A first date is all about getting to know someone, having a laugh, and relaxing around each other. If you ask him to pass the salt before asking what he’s looking for, he’s going to feel uneasy. The truth is that he might not even know what he’s looking for. The truth is that he’s probably just happy getting to know you.
3. Things You Hate
Nobody likes a moaner on a first date. No one likes to hear someone talk about what they hate.
Worse still, no one likes a rambler who literally cannot stop moaning once they have started.
“And you know what else I hate?”
You need to be positive on your first date and avoid commenting on things that really get your goat. You’re on a date – enjoy it! Feel the love! (though don’t ask him if he loves you just yet).
Talking about your day at work with your friends is just fine, because you all share the same feelings. Your friend knows who your boss is, and she loves to hear all your anecdotes about who he fired this time.
But unless your date shows an interest in your job, it’s probably best if you avoid talking about your office as it can get boring really quickly. Unless you have a super-cool job, such as working for NASA. You definitely should talk about that. Or an Alien Hunter. That’s a fun one!
This is also a big no-no, because it can lead to heated arguments at the dinner table. One of you could easily end up huffing!
Unless you both share the same political viewpoint, it’s advised that you don’t talk about politics. It could turn nasty if you discover that one of you is a staunch capitalist who supports the middle-classes, while the other is a dyed in the wool socialist who wants to bring down capitalism. You can get into this stuff on future dates, but for now keep it to your pets, okay?
6. Offensive Jokes
You know what it’s like. After one or two drinks, it can be easy to feel so relaxed and at ease that you try your hand at a bit of comedy. The jokes come out – including the offensive ones.
These are fine around your friends who know you’re just trying to have fun. But a charming professional you’ve never met before? Big no-no! You have no idea how he will react, or how he feels about a certain subject matter. Err on the side of caution and reel out those Knock Knock jokes your mother told you when you were a kid.
7. The Weather
How do you fill those silences that invariably happen at some point on a first date?
You can be creative and think up an interesting question.
But don’t rely on bringing up the weather!
“It’s been so miserable recently, hasn’t it?”
The weather is a really mundane topic of conversation that will not keep a conversation going. In fact, it will make things even flatter. Avoid.
8. Technical Waffle
You got 4K installed at your home? Got the latest Nikon camera with 22 mega pixels and the ability to shoot 8 frames per second? That’s cool.
But what if your date has no idea what any of this means? You’re going to bore him. It’s best to use your common sense and realise that your knowledge about gadgets might actually be boring, rather than impressing him.
“So, how much do you earn?”
Um … Awkward!!
No one likes to be asked about how much they earn. Some folk are wary about revealing their earnings to their closest pals, so they’ll definitely be apprehensive about sharing such info with a first date. Moreover, it can also make you sound like a gold digger.