Sometimes it takes more than a spoken “I love you” to show your partner how much you care. After being said after every phone call and written in countless texts those three little words can lose their sincerity.
There are times when you may find yourself in a situation where you need to show your partner how much you love them in a way that truly speaks to them.
There are many ways to show you care, but before you go book a weekend getaway or splurge on those designer jeans they’ve been obsessing over, you’ll need to determine what will mean the most to them
1. Uninterrupted time
This love language is becoming harder and harder to do properly, with the distractions of TV, kids, friends, and possibly the biggest offender: your cellphone. Focused, uninterrupted time means spending time specifically focused on each other while banning the daily distractions that get in the way.
It may be as simple as sitting on the couch and asking about their day while your phone remains in the other room or as deliberate as going on a long drive or date night where any distractions are left at home.
People who crave quality time will feel neglected if you’re half listening to them as you think of weekend plans or ask them a question as you continue typing an email. Even though you may be sitting right next to them asking all the “right” questions, they may feel completely distant from you. This love language focuses on togetherness and quality conversations that let your partner know that you truly care.
2. Give meaningful gifts
To your partner, a gift of any size and value may show them that you thought of them and took the time to pick something out with them in mind. Don’t mistake this for being materialistic, as a gift could be as simple as surprising them with their favorite smoothie at work.
This love language is all about your intention. A gift is a physical reminder that your partner is on your mind and worth the time it takes for you to think of, plan, and pick up a small gift.
People that feel loved through thoughtful gift giving will appreciate the way you deliver the gift. Did you deliver it yourself or find a creative way to get it to them? Leaving the gift with a little note may mean a lot.
So will paying attention when your partner mentions they need or want something and you surprise them with it out of the blue. Gift giving can be done on a very small scale, but it should always be done with care.
3. Focus on physically connecting
If your partner craves physical touch, they’ll find meaning and love when you reach out to hold their hand, kiss them out of nowhere, and give them general physical interaction often. This love language isn’t sexual, it is a way of physically showing your partner that you’re there and are fully aware of them.
Small physical interactions show them that they’re on your mind as you chat with your neighbor or settle into the couch. If this is your partner’s love language, then they may literally need a physical connection to feel your love.
Make a point to rest your hand on their leg or guide them through the party holding hands. When you think of them, show them by physically reaching out for them.
4. Perform acts of service
This love language is all about showing your partner you love them by performing helpful acts that make their lives easier. By surprising your partner after work with a home-cooked dinner, taking out the garbage, fixing a clogged drain, or offering to do the week’s grocery shopping, you’re taking a chore off of their plate and expressing your love and devotion to them.
If your partner mentions that they hate unloading the dishwasher and you start taking over that chore, they’ll feel more loved than if you said a simple “I love you.”
If this is your partner’s love language, you can ask what specific things he or she would like by asking up front. It will mean a lot that you want to help and remove some of the burden from their shoulders.
For extra love points, surprise them by taking care of things out of the blue. Wake up early to make your partner breakfast, give them the window seat when you fly, or start the laundry before they get home.
5. Say loving words
Your partner may thrive on the things that you say. When you support them with encouraging words, it may speak volumes of your love for them. Maybe you notice how your partner kept their cool in a stressful situation or were amazed by the meal they prepared.
Tell them that you noticed, and say it in a thoughtful way that shows you took the time to compliment them in a meaningful manner. These affirming, encouraging words will help your partner gain confidence and will send them a message that you value and care for them.
Those who thrive on encouraging, loving words may be easily hurt by things you say in an angry or sarcastic tone, so make sure to be aware of what you say and how you say it.