I have a confession to make. I have never been in a serious relationship, and I’m definitely past the age where that’s normal. While all my friends are coupling up and making plans about marriage and babies, I’m still attending parties solo and being set up on horrifying blind dates.
Most of the reason I’m still single is personal preference, and yet, it can often be hard to feel happy about it when everywhere you look, there is someone telling you that you’re incomplete without another person!
The thing is though, as much as there are wonderful things about being in a relationship with someone you love, I believe that there are just as many reasons to be happy about being on your own!
15 great things I’ve experienced being single!
Through my experiences, here are 15 really good reasons to enjoy that singledom and live your life, well, at least until you find someone who you think may be perfect for you. But if you don’t find that right person, who cares, because you’d still get to have so much fun anyway!
#1 So much me time. One of the best things about being single is the amount of time you have, to spend doing whatever it is that you love best. I love spending time on my own – whether it’s browsing at a bookstore, writing at a coffee shop, or lazing around watching TV on Saturday mornings. Because I’m single, I don’t have to arrange for this time or wait until my significant other is out of town – every day is full of opportunities to hang out on my own.
#2 Set your own schedule. When you are single, you also don’t need to worry about running your schedule by anyone else. Get a text mid-afternoon from a friend asking you to go for drinks after work? You can say yes without worrying about interfering with your partner’s plans.
I love having the flexibility to work late, take spontaneous opportunities or change my plans completely halfway through the day without worrying about how it will affect anyone else.
#3 Stronger friendships. Who hasn’t experienced a friendship that fades out after a significant other joins the picture? Just because I’m not in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that I can’t have other kinds of strong relationships! I can take the energy and love and time that would go into a romantic relationship and place it into my friendships – having great friends there for you is totally worth it!
#4 The future is wide open. When you’re in a relationship, every aspect of your future needs to be run by someone else. After all, if you’re working on a couples’ 5-10-year plan, you need to keep each other involved in any big decisions. When I don’t have to think about someone else’s future, mine has a lot more options! There are no geographical, financial, or time limits that aren’t my own to consider.
#5 Potential is everywhere. There are a lot of wonderful things about being in a long-term relationship, but once you’re committed to someone, it gets a lot less fun to check out all the good looking people around you. When you’re single, every single good looking person is a potential new fling – and that’s a lot of fun!
#6 No forced friendships. When you’re in a relationship, you need to get along with *or at least pretend to get along with!* all of the friends that your partner has already made. Sometimes, this is a great way to make new friends, but other times, it can be an exhausting and stressful experience!
#7 Singles parties. I’ve heard that couples’ nights are a lot of fun, and that wine tastings and fancy dinners are an experience I’m missing out on. The thing is, I’ve got the rest of my adult life to experience that – give me a girls’ night out over a large group of couples any day!
#8 Stay in shape. The ‘happy weight’ you gain when you’re in a relationship isn’t just a myth – I’ve seen it happen! And while I’m far from a fitness nut, I love knowing that by cooking for one and wanting to look nice “just in case” I find myself next to a good-looking stranger, I don’t have to work nearly as hard at maintaining my weight!
#9 Self-sufficiency. The list of things I’ve learned to do as a single girl living on my own, simply because I haven’t had a significant other to ask for help, is long and impressive.
Google is a great teacher, and once you do something once, you’ll never have to ask again. I love being confident in my own ability to handle problems whenever they happen.
#10 Crushes are fun. Is there anything better than the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when your handsome co-worker smiles at you in the hall, or when the guy you met at a party friends you on Facebook? Being able to have crushes that are hopeless *or not-so-hopeless!* and getting to fall in love again and again is one of the best parts about being single!
#11 Saving money. You know what’s expensive? Relationships. You might not think so, but gifts *Christmas, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.* add up fast and so do dinners out and date-night activities! When you are single, you have way more freedom in what you choose to spend your money on, and you’ll only ever have to pay for your own admission – score!
#12 Focus on career. Sure, your job isn’t *and shouldn’t be!* everything you care about. That being said, having enough time and freedom to really push yourself in your career is an opportunity you won’t have once you’re in a relationship.
Having the freedom to work overtime or tackle advanced projects can really help boost your career – and you don’t need to worry about it taking away time or energy you could be giving your partner.
#13 You decide what’s ‘clean enough’. I’m not the world’s cleanest person – I’m not a slob, but I’m also not overly fussy about keeping my clothes folded or my papers organized.
When you’re the only one living in your place, you get to decide how much cleaning you do, where things go, and how many days you can wear your favorite pair of jeans before they’re really too disgusting to wear again. If that’s not freedom, I don’t know what is.
#14 No compromises needed. When it comes to movies, dessert, ice cream flavors or the temperature of your apartment, you don’t need to ask anyone else’s opinion! The freedom to make your own choices without worrying about someone else’s opinion lets you put your happiness first without worrying about being selfish.
#15 Being confident in who you are. While all of the things I’ve listed are definitely some fantastic perks of going through this crazy part of my life solo, a lot of them are pretty shallow.
I have to say that the most important part of this extended time being single for me has been the chance to come to terms with who I am, improve the parts of myself I don’t like, and gaining confidence in my personal abilities, dreams, and plans.
Whether you’re newly-single or permanently single like me, there are tons of benefits to this season of life. Once you’re in a relationship, there will be plenty of other positive experiences to have, but they’re all decidedly different than the ones you can have while you’re single. Of course, there are downsides to being single, but there are negatives to everything!