We all want to be the best girlfriend in the world, don’t we? Every time the bitch surfaces, we promise ourselves we will be better.
When we go overboard and say things we don’t mean, we promise to hold our tongue next time, and when we look at our guy and feel loved, we want to make sure we provide the same love in return. We’ve got your back when it comes to ways for how to be a better girlfriend.
There are things we all do simply because we are human and they can’t be avoided. Sometimes it is going to be rocky, but if you want to know how to be a better girlfriend, look no further.
30 best ways to be a better girlfriend to change the course of your relationship
If you have recently begun to think perhaps you aren’t the best girlfriend out there, there are some basic things you can do to become a better mate. Most of them revolve around being more understanding and not overreacting, teaching you how to be a better girlfriend.
#1 If he doesn’t ask for advice, don’t supply it. Women have a tendency to think it is our job to supply people with our opinion. Guys are different creatures. If they don’t ask what you think, there is a good chance they don’t want to know. Save your advice for a time when he asks for it.
#2 Try not to be critical. Men hear “suggestions” and “opinions” as being critical. We often have no idea that our little comments are being registered in a man’s mind as negative or condescending. The more critical he feels you are of him, the more he is going to hear criticism out of what you say. Try to rephrase your opinions to make them sound more supportive and less judgmental.
#3 Don’t be a roller coaster. Okay, I am not going to sugar coat it, women are very emotional and turbulent. It is not abnormal that we are upset, happy, joyful, and pissed all within a matter of thirty minutes when our hormones are kicking in, or we just feel like it.
If you want to be a good girlfriend, then predictability is key. Trying to maintain an even keel, roll with it attitude, even in the face of adversity, will keep your guy on track to a stable, healthy, and happy relationship for the long-term.
#4 Hold in the crazy. You know those times when you just want to scream? Not like the scream where it is high-pitched and comes from the throat. No, the crazy that comes from somewhere deep in your toes and makes it way up your belly. We all know where it ends, right? The eyes. If you can, try to hold in that crazy side of yourself.
It isn’t that you want to hide it from him, but if you can’t get a hold of your anger and emotions, then you are going to spend a whole lot of time feeling badly about your behavior and not like a very good girlfriend.
#5 Put down the phone. What did we do before cell phones and texting? We were probably all better girlfriends back then. When you have a phone in your hand, it is much easier to text something snarky or sarcastic than if you were standing face-to-face.
Before you decide to send some passive aggressive, or just straight out aggressive, message back put the phone down and walk away. It is much better to wait until you see him, and then decide if it is worth pushing or not. Chances are once you are in his face you will realize that in the end, it was no big deal.
#6 When you are mad, take a walk. Before you explode, simply excuse yourself and go for a walk. When you take the time to put distance between you and him, you gain perspective and calm down enough to rationalize the situation.
If you react in the heat of the moment, you end up saying things you don’t mean or that you can’t take back. Not only will going for a walk calm you down, but it also allows some of the adrenaline you feel to work its way through your body. That slows down your parasympathetic system and bring you back down to earth before you blow your top.
#7 Try never to call names. If you want to know how to be a better girlfriend, avoid name calling. You aren’t in grammar school, don’t ever call him names or point out his biggest insecurities. You are only creating resentment and lowering his self-esteem, which will come back to bite you both.
#8 Try never to say things that you can’t take back. Don’t ever take the gloves off. No matter how angry you get, or how much you think he is disrespecting you, don’t stoop! If needed, simply say to him that you need to walk away and cool things down and bite your tongue. Literally, if that is what it takes to keep you from saying something that sticks and can’t be taken back.
#9 Be concerned but don’t be nosy. It is okay to worry about why he is withdrawn and upset, but if he doesn’t want to talk about it, you need not pry it out of him.
Guys aren’t like girls. They don’t think that letting it all out makes it all better. In fact, they will go to great lengths to keep it all in, and that is okay.
We all have a way to deal with things in our life that we are struggling with. You do your thing and let him do his to be a good girlfriend. If you let him be, when he is ready to talk about it, he will let you know.
#10 Know when he needs time alone and respect it. If he has a ritual of coming home and sitting on the front stoop, respect it. It is hard not to take it personally when a guy wants space, but it is his time to work through his day, recoup, and regenerate. If you allow him to unwind, he’ll be all wound up to spend time with you, and it will strengthen your relationship.
#11 Never snoop. To be the best girlfriend, never snoop. That means stay off his computer, off his phone, and don’t talk to his friends. A good girlfriend trusts her man. If you don’t trust him and feel like you have to spy or follow him around, then you don’t want him anyway because you must not think very much of him.
#12 Give him guy time. Every guy needs “his” time. Women are much more social creatures. We like to chit-chat and talk about our days, our hair, our men. Guys like to be together and watch television silently. If he is being withdrawn, send him out with friends for some downtime.
The more freedom you give him, the more he desires time with you. I know that isn’t the way that it feels, but give it a try, you’ll be surprised at how much he will miss being around you.
#13 Make sure that what you are saying is being heard the way that you think.Guys hear something different from what girls say. A good girlfriend takes the time to listen to what she is saying and how it is being heard. Try to put yourself in his position and ask yourself if you would like to be talked to the way you are talking to him.
#14 Be attentive, not clingy. A good girlfriend is attentive to his needs, but not clingy. What is the difference? Attentive to his needs means if you aren’t in the mood for sex, you pleasure him, just because. Clingy means you follow him around constantly asking him what he needs and how you can help. It is the little things that say “I love you,” not the obsessive smothering ones.
#15 Realize he already has a mom. Don’t tell him what to do. He knows he shouldn’t smoke. He also knows after an all-nighter with the guys he shouldn’t have done shots of tequila. He is a big boy and, even if you want to state the obvious, don’t.
He already has a mom telling him what is good and bad for him. A good girlfriend remains his girlfriend; she doesn’t morph into his mother.
#16 Listen. We’re good at talking, and it may take some time to get him to talk, but when he finally does, listen.
#17 Be happy. A man’s biggest accomplishment is making his girlfriend happy. You may not realize your happiness has a huge effect on him. “Happy wife, happy life” is for real.
If you are always a Debbie Downer and miserable, then you aren’t considering how your mood is affecting him or what it says about your relationship. Try to maintain a positive mood and see the silver lining. If you are unhappy, make it known that it has nothing to do with him or anything he has done wrong.
#18 Appreciate the small and big things. A good girlfriend doesn’t expect what he does for her, she appreciates it, even the little things.
#19 Don’t expect perfection. Recognize he is going to make mistakes just like you do and don’t make a big deal of them. A mistake is embarrassing enough without you being captain obvious
#20 Don’t treat him like your girlfriend. He doesn’t want to hear about how you got these awesome shoes or how Jenny said something to you about Nancy. Save the girl talk for the girls and try to find a common conversation engaging you both, not just a one-sided talk-a-thon.
#21 Don’t be a bitch. Venting sounds more like bitching. If you are being a bitch either to him or to someone else it just reflects ugly, and you want to be someone he is proud to be with.
#22 Be supportive. Everyone has a right to have dreams. If he has one, be supportive. Even if you don’t know if it is going to work out, as long as it does no harm, make sure to allow him to find out who he is and what he wants to be. There is always time to be an adult, believe in him enough to know that he will find his way, and when he does, you will be there to share in the celebration.
#23 Get along with his family and stay out of family drama. Don’t get mixed in with his family drama and don’t fight with members of his family. A good girlfriend unites and doesn’t divide. You shouldn’t ever make him choose between you or his family, or put him in a horrible spot by creating problems within his family unit.
#24 Just give him a hug. Need we say more?
#25 Send him sext messages. Sext messages let him know that you still think he is hot. Guys want to know they are still attractive and wanted just like you. A good girlfriend boosts his confidence and makes him feel sexy and good about himself.
#26 Spice things up in the bedroom. Be willing to try new things and attend to his sexual fantasies when you can. Being open and vulnerable is the best way to build a trusting and lasting relationship. It is also an excellent way to find out for yourself what feels good.
#27 Care for yourself as if you are still dating. A good girlfriend keeps herself up, doesn’t stop her gym membership and pull out her fat jeans the minute she feels like you are a couple.
#28 Figure out his triggers. Take note of those things about you that drive him crazy (in a bad way) and try to avoid them.
#29 Ignore the small stuff. Let things go and don’t hold grudges.
#30 Don’t use him as your punching bag. If you have a bad day, leave it behind you. Often, we bring in other experiences of our lives and take it out on the ones we love most. Don’t use him as your punching bag or your dumping ground.