Every girl is unique.
And what you expect from a guy and from a happy relationship would be very different from what your friend expects.
Likewise, relationships too are just as unique, and what works for one person doesn’t always have to work for someone else.
Instead of taking pointers from friends or asking for their opinions all the time, sometimes the easiest way to figure out if a guy is a good match for you is by testing your compatibility with him, keeping your own expectations in mind.
Compatibility and the things to look for in a guy
How do you test your compatibility with a guy?
And how can you tell if he’d actually be perfect for you?
A guy could seem perfect for you, your friends may love him, and you may be falling hard for him too.
Does that mean he’d be perfect for you?
There are a few cues that every guy subconsciously gives away that can help you judge him and see for yourself if he’s the perfect boyfriend for you.
Compatibility isn’t precise, and it’s as unique as the two people involved in the compatibility test.
What you see as cocky may be interpreted as confidence by another girl, and what you believe is coy and cute could be misunderstood as low self esteem by a guy you like!
If you don’t want to get hurt in love, try to get to know more about the guy before you find yourself falling head over heels in love with him. It’ll help you make an opinion about him, and most importantly, it’ll help you test the compatibility.
12 things to look for in a guy before you date him!
There are a few perceived flaws that are completely excusable in a guy. But then again, there are a few things that may not seem like such a big deal to begin with, but over time, they may be the same things that tear both of you away from each other, or leave you hurt and lost.
If you like a guy, or have just started to date him, keep an eye on these 12 things to look for in a guy. And make sure that both of you are compatible on all 12 of these things. Even one cross in this list, and things may just get sour over the months or years!
#1 His interest in commitment. Is this guy really serious about dating you on a long term or is he just looking for a short fling? There are a few guys who can’t stay single because they can’t handle loneliness, but at the same time, they’re terrified of serious commitment too.
If you’re dating a guy, make sure he isn’t afraid to commit and is genuinely interested in the relationship. Take your time to get close to him, and watch his behavior. If you don’t feel like an important part of his life, chances are, you really aren’t!
#2 His arrogance. Arrogance is subjective, but it’s still a trait that’s very easy to recognize. There’s a thin line between being overly confident in everything you do, and being cocky and arrogant about it.
If you believe the guy you like is extremely confident in a cute way, that’s good for you. But if his behavior comes across as rude and arrogant, especially when he’s having a conversation with you, he’s definitely not the guy for you.
#3 His respect for you. A great guy will respect you for the person you are, and won’t treat you like you’re nothing more than his arm candy. A guy who respects you will try hard to impress you all the time.
He’ll dress up and look good for you *because he doesn’t want to disappoint you*, he’ll try to make a good impression on your friends and family, and he’ll display his chivalrous side every time he’s with you. On the other hand, if he doesn’t respect you, he’ll expect you to take control while he’d just behave like a lazy slob around you.
#4 His social life. One of the subtle things to look for in a guy is his social life. Does he have a lot of friends? Is he a loner that no one likes to hang out with? A guy who’s too lonely may not always be a good find, because he’s either antisocial, boring or rude, or too occupied with something in his life to have time for anything else *and that includes you!*
#5 He pursues you. Just how eager is this guy to date you? Does he try to woo you and pursue you, or is he just taking it easy? If a guy truly likes you and is interested in making you smile and keeping you happy, he’d woo you and awe you all the time, with his gestures and by his behavior around you.
It doesn’t matter even if you asked him out before he did. If a guy likes you, it’s in his evolutionary instincts to try and impress you. So if a guy you’re dating doesn’t try to impress you, chances are, he isn’t impressed by you!
#6 He’s not living a secret. This may seem shocking, but there are many guys who lead double lives. He may be dating someone else or may even be married to someone else in another area code, while dating you at the same time!
Make sure the guy you’re dating isn’t building a secret relationship with you. Does he avoid taking you to crowded restaurants? Does he appear nervous and look around often, each time both of you meet in public? If a guy has nothing to hide, he won’t have any qualms about going out with you in public or bumping into his friends when you’re around.
#7 Emotional maturity. It’s always cute to watch a guy behave like a primate or a little boy. But when you actually try to assess a guy as a dating potential, always look for emotional maturity. Does he get really angry or egoistic over silly things? How does he approach big decisions in life? If a guy seems immature, especially when he’s making decisions, he’s probably not the right guy for you as a long term partner.
#8 His focus on life. Now he doesn’t have to be a millionaire or a budding entrepreneur. But when you think about this guy, just how focused is he with the way he leads his life? Does he have any concrete plans for the future? *Not the I-know-I’ll-be-rich-in-five-years kind of plan!*
If a guy isn’t focused in life, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s a chaotic mess right now. He may not seem like a mess when you meet him, especially if he seems laid back and cool like a guy who’s living in the moment, but almost always, guys who don’t have goals or aren’t focused on anything in life will end up frustrated or lost very soon!
#9 Confidence. A guy’s confidence plays a big part in a healthy relationship. He’d feel more secure in the relationship, and he’d be less clingy, which would ensure that he isn’t a clingy boyfriend. At the same time, a confident guy would also make the girl he’s dating feel more protected in the relationship.
Take confidence out of the romance, and you’ve got a controlling boyfriend, and a scared girlfriend. And that’s not a good sign for love, is it?
#10 He’s a romantic. This may not matter to you right now, but at some point of time, it definitely will! *especially when another girl friend of yours starts dating a guy who’s a true romantic*
Does this guy woo you and serenade you, or does he believe that romantic gestures are fluff you see only in the movies? Date a guy only if you’re comfortable with his romantic side.
#11 He listens to your opinions. When a man listens to your opinions *and even follows them*, it shows that he really respects you and believes in what you have to say. If a guy considers you an equal and an intellectual whose ideas he respects, he’ll listen to you and consider your opinion before making a decision.
On the other hand, if he thinks your ideas are not worthy of his interest, he may pretend to care what you think at the start of the relationship. But as time goes by, he may make it obvious that he doesn’t care what you say or think. And that’s never a sign of good compatibility in a relationship.
#12 He’s selfless. Does this guy display little acts of selflessness every now and then when both of you start dating? Does he give you the better seat, or make sure you’re comfortable before he gets comfortable? Selflessness and unconditional love comes naturally to considerate guys.
If you have to teach a guy how to be considerate, he’s probably not worth your time because he wouldn’t see selflessness as a romantic trait. Instead, an inconsiderate guy may see it as your way of emotionally manipulating him just to see yourself happy.