If you truly believe that you have found your soul mate, it can be very easy to worry that your bliss won’t last. Sure, your partner might well be your soul mate, but we all know that relationships invariably hit their tricky patches, and we’ve all been in a relationship that we thought was going to last forever, only for it to eventually run its course.
Indeed, making a relationship last can seem like the hardest thing in the world to do. We look at our parents, many of whom are celebrating being together for over 20 years, and we wonder just how they do it! So if you’re looking to find out how to make sure that the relationship of your dreams is going strong, let’s take a look at 10 little secrets on how to make a relationship last.
1. Don’t Plan Your Relationship
Every relationship is different. The ones you had in high-school will be vastly different from the ones you have now, and the ones you have now will be hugely different from the ideal relationship you have seen in Disney movies.
It’s time to burn your blueprint of what you think a great relationship is meant to be like. If your expectations are too high, you will feel pretty disappointed. For example, if you expect way too much from your man and expect him to be the complete Prince Charming, your relationship might end early, because of your unrealistic expectations. It’s time to just go with the flow.
2. Be A More Forgiving Person
One of the many reasons a relationship doesn’t last is because one or both parties are unwilling to forgive mistakes. If one or both of you cannot get over certain actions committed by the other, you’re going to find it pretty difficult to survive just a few weeks, let alone years.
He’s accidentally broken your favourite vase? You have to forgive him.
The reality is that we all make mistakes. No one is perfect. While there are certain things that are pretty unforgivable, there are definitely mistakes that can be forgiven. So our tip on how to make a relationship last is simple: you and your partner need to relax and accept that grudges will get you no where.
3. Don’t Embarrass Them In Front Of Friends
Oh, so you’ve found a photo of your partner that’s really, really funny, right? Bet you’d love to share it with your friends and make them laugh, yeah? Of course, you would.
But hold on a minute. If the photo in question is going to embarrass them, are you sure you really want to share it with others? You are? Sorry, but this relationship isn’t going to last.
The keys to a solid relationship are trust and respect. If your partner can’t trust you to do the right thing and to respect their wishes, privacy and dignity, then you won’t get very far.
4. Allow For Disagreements
No two people are exactly alike. Yes, he might be your soul mate and yes he might even be willing to wear matching jumpers with you. If you ask nicely, he might even jump on a two person bike with you to be really cute.
But there will be things he disagrees with you on and you must accept this, it’s another important tip on how to make a relationship last. If you convert to vegetarianism but he refuses, understand his point of view and accept it. Likewise, if he decides to take up a hobby but you don’t want to do that, you have to let him do what his heart is telling him. Be open and make room for differences of opinion.
5. Hold Hands
When you’re out together, it’s nice to reassure one another of the strength of your love. A great way to do this is by holding hands. This public sign of affection is a really strong sign of your bond, because it’s showing to the world that you love each other and you aren’t afraid to show it.
6. Be Teammates
It’s important to remember that a relationship is between two people, and therefore requires you both to be working and fighting for one another. You cannot do all the work just like your partner cannot do all the work. If it constantly feels as though you’re the only one who is making any effort, you’re going to start feeling that it just isn’t worth it.
A successful relationship requires both of you to show that you care. So another good tip on how to make a relationship last is to work at the relationship together, and this means talking to one another about your problems, helping one another, and planning for your future together.
7. Compliment Each Other
I’ve seen relationships dwindle and fall apart because each partner is too negative towards one another. If you are constantly putting one another down, you’ll be developing a very negative atmosphere that lends itself to a very negative relationship. Where is the fun, the humour, the happiness?
A successful relationship needs positivity. It needs you to be your partners cheerleader and them to be yours. Instead of putting one another down, you need to send each other compliments. How to make a relationship last? Make your partner feel good about themselves and let them know that you care about them and love them. Even better, brag about how great they are to other people. Make them feel special.
8. Love Without Conditions
Next tip on how to make a relationship last is to show your partner unconditional love.
Once we are all coupled-up with our partners, it can be very temping to then start laying down the law.
If we’re a vegetarian, we might ask them to convert too.
If we don’t smoke, we might tell them to stop smoking too.
If we think they go out playing sports too often, we might demand that they spend more time indoors with us.
Making these demands, though, is like loving someone on certain conditions. You simply can’t love an idealised, altered person; you have to love them and everything that makes them who they are.
9. Don’t Blame Your Partner When Things Go Wrong
When you’re bored, frustrated or out of work, it can be very tempting to direct your ire at your partner. But this won’t make things any better; instead, it will simply cause a rupture in your relationship, and it will create a very negative atmosphere.
When things are going wrong with your life, it’s time to look at yourself and what you can change. Take a look at your own flaws and work on them.
10. Listen To Your Partner
We absolutely hate it when we feel as though we’re not being listened to. If we feel as though our opinions are continually being overlooked in the workplace, we feel small and insignificant. But it’s ten times worse when our own partner refuses to listen to us.
Both of your voices matter, and it’s important for the health of your relationship that you listen to one another and take each others’ opinions on board. So our final tip on how to make a relationship last is to never interrupt your partner during an argument, but instead listen to their side of the story. Pay attention to them and try to reach a compromise.