When we’re in our teens, it’s really easy to believe that everything we like right now is what we’ll always like. We’ll always be listening to pop music, wearing bright red lipstick, crushing on boy bands – and digging blonde-haired skater boys.
But our tastes in pretty much everything change as we get older – even our taste in guys. What we might find attractive today is certainly not what we might find attractive in a few years’ time.
And indeed, it might even shocks us when we find ourselves falling for a bookish, short-haired, bespectacled librarian who looks nothing like Brad, the skater boy with the tattoos.
We mature as people, and just as a person’s tastebuds swing from craving sugary energy drinks to vintage wines, a woman’s taste in men changes. So let’s take a look at 10 ways in which it does just that as you get older.
Mystery No Longer Appeals To You
When I was younger, I was hugely attracted to the bad boy mysterious type. I liked guys who looked suave but impenetrable. They would sit there, mostly in silence, until they’d pop up with a complex aphorism on life that made me go all gooey inside. Just what was behind those dark, sultry eyes? What secrets were they hiding?
But as I got older, and had dated a few of these “mysterious” types, I realised that mysteries quickly get old once you’ve dug a little bit deeper. And most of the time, the mystery wasn’t all that mysterious to begin with.
Moreover, mysterious bad boys are not really the type of guys you can build a genuine future with.
Your Interests Have Changed
Maybe when you were younger you were into heavy rock music, and as such you dated dreadlocked mosher’s who took you to Metallica gigs.
These days, though, you’re into swing music, vintage clothes and guys who appreciate the same finer things in life. As such, you’ll turn your nose up at the dreadlocked, sweaty rocker and instead plump for a charming, well-dressed gentleman.
You Don’t Care About Abs Anymore
Maybe when you were younger you pinned posters of hot, topless men to your wall. Your bedroom was lined with Adonis’ who nobody could match up to.
These days, though, while it’d be perfectly cool to date a well-built man, abs are certainly not the be all and end all. Indeed, abs that are just too big are even a little ghastly. Yuck.
You Can’t Change People
Girls have it in our heads when we’re young that we have some sort of magical powers and can change guys. We think it’s okay that we’re dating a man with a haunted past who drinks a little bit too much right now because we’ll just overpower him with our charm.
Unfortunately, as you get older, you begin to realise that things just don’t work like this. If a guy has a strong personality, there is no way you’re going to change him. So, why waste time even bothering?
These days, you look for men who are already your type, rather than rough diamonds who, with a little tweaking, can be reshaped.
You Think About Your Future
When I stumbled from boyfriend to boyfriend in my late teens, I wasn’t thinking of my future at all. As such, I casually dated lots of losers who I shudder to think could ever be a part of my life now.
These days, I only date men I can see fitting into my vision of the future. I don’t have the time to waste dating hopeless guys anymore, and instead only invest energy in relationships I know could work out in the long-term.
You’re Done With The Player
Young girls like to give the players’ the benefit of the doubt, probably because they’re hot while we’re vain and think we can calm them down.
The truth, though, is that players can never be tamed, and all that inevitably happens is we get played, too. We become yet another notch on his belt, and we end up really hating him and ourselves.
As a mature woman, you know that the player can waste his time with someone else. You’re way beyond those days, and if a man ever starts playing with you again, he can hit the road.
Cars Don’t Matter Anymore
It made you shiver whenever Brad rocked up at your school in his dad’s Cadillac, but as you get older, you realise that material objects such as cars don’t actually matter that much. What you prefer is a guy who is well-travelled, worldly wise and experienced. It doesn’t matter how much money he’s got; what’s more important is how he spends it.
You Now Have Higher Expectations
When you’re young, it doesn’t really matter that Brad doesn’t have a job, eats loads of junk food, goes protesting at the weekend’s and smashes his bottom lip because he falls off his skateboard. You’re both young, anti-authoritarian and you don’t want to work anyway because work sucks.
As you get older, though, you want a little bit more ambition from your partner than throwing eggs at the general store’s window. You want him to have a solid career, and you may even expect that one day he’ll ask you to marry him.
You Now Go For Personality
When you were younger, you of course liked a good personality. You and Colin the eccentric genius from math were even best buddies. You’d never have dated Colin, though, because dim but handsome Brad was better looking. You liked personality, but looks made you go weak at the knees.
As you get older, though, you realise that personality actually matters so much more than looks. You now want someone with brains who is humorous, quirky, protective, and generous. You want someone who will always be there for you and who loves you for who you are.
You Have A Strict Criteria
Maybe in the past you were prepared to give any guy a chance. What was there to lose? As you get older, though, you’ve realised that you’ve wasted a lot of time dating no-hopers and that it’s time you set a specific criteria.
And if the guy doesn’t meet it, he’s not getting in.