Everyone deserves to have that Meredith and McDreamy kind of love – where the guy chooses the girl over and over again, despite how “dark and twisty” you or the situation can get.
A love that is not based on the fleeting feelings of lust and the butterflies of being in love, but that is based solely on friendship and respect, two aspects that are needed if you want your relationship to last. You have to be valued (and value in return) or you have to walk away.
Sometimes all you need is to remind yourself that you matter, that you are important and that you deserve a love that respects all of you. If you have a man that can give you that, you will find yourself soaring above the clouds and the best of all – you never have to come down. Here are ten signs that you are dating a man that really respects you:
1. He accepts you
Despite all the demons you might be fighting, despite all the insecurities you might be dealing with, despite all the quirks that society might not find acceptable – he never runs away. He accepts you for what makes you uniquely you and never tries to change you into something that would fit into a stereotypical mold.
2. He challenges you
He will trust your instinct, but also not be afraid to tell you if something might not work out. If you are afraid, he will be the one to push you to take risks. If you succeed he will celebrate with you and if you fail he will help you along the bumps. You will always have a cheerleader on your side pushing you to greater heights because he truly wants to see you succeed in life.
3. He encourages you
He is on your team and encourages you to pursue all the things that set your heart on fire with passion and purpose, and will help you along the way. If you stumble and fall, he will be there to pick you up and wipe off the tears and the dust – but he will also be the one who motivates you to get back in the saddle.
4. He is not afraid to be respectfully honest
He is not afraid to tell you if he does not agree with you or if he does not understand why you did something. However, he does not allow it to influence your relationship and will keep on respecting your individuality. He is patient with you and will not try and change your mind.
Also, do not be embarrassed if he points out that you have something in your teeth or that a certain shirt might not work as well with your outfit. This shows that he respects you enough to not allow you to be embarrassed around others and that he is comfortable enough around you to raise his opinion too.
That is what you can respectfully acknowledge, but also ignore. Do not get between a girl and her passion for fashion, no matter if the outfit works or not.
5. He gets you
It takes a while to get to know a person, to know what makes him or her tick and if he does know you that well, then you know he respects you and finds you worth knowing.
He not only put in the time to know how you prefer your cup of coffee and when you absolutely need your glass of wine but also when you need that hug filled with understanding and love or when you just want to be left alone in order to gather your thoughts through introspection.
6. He trusts you
No one likes to be dominated and controlled, especially when it comes around when you are doing things either alone or with your girlfriends. If he dictates your every move it feels as if he thinks so little of you that he believes that you will not remain faithful and true to him.
Do not let him convince you it is because of his insecurities; it has nothing to do with that – that might have influenced him, but in the end, it is a choice between trusting you and not trusting you. If he respects you and values your worth, he will know that you would never do anything to purposely hurt him.
7. He always shows up
He never ignores your calls or cancels at the last minute; if he does, there is usually a good reason behind it. He respects your time and will never leave you waiting for work or when he is hanging out with his friends. You will always be his number one priority and this will not be because he feels obliged to make you that – it will come naturally as your love grows deeper and stronger.
8. He puts in the effort
You actually do new and exciting things as a couple that extends the physical and is not just staying in and watching TV. He takes you places, plans things with you and makes sure that your quality time is something that you both enjoy and that will only bring you two closer with appreciation and adoration.
9. He can talk about anything with you
Whether it is about his rocky past, his shattering insecurities or even just his years of growing up – he talks to you and trusts you with the information, knowing that you will understand. He is also not afraid to talk about the future with you – something that makes most guys run to the hills.
However, if he respects you he will talk openly to you about where you two are as a couple and where he would like the relationship to head towards in the future. If he is perhaps not ready for the next step – he will respect you enough to let you know.
10. He loves you
He not only tells you each and every day how much he loves you but shows it to you, even if it is in small acts of kindness and consideration. He listens and is present in every moment with you. He finds a way to ignite a fire within your bones; he finds a way to kiss you in such a manner it makes you see the next forty or fifty years of your life with him.
We often forget how important respect is and how it leads to a love that is deeper than the ocean and that can face every – and any – enemy it might encounter in the voyage. Do not settle for anything less than what makes you feel like home; someone that will not only take care of your body but also your soul