Hitting the jackpot in a relationship is not easy. Before we find Mr Right, many of us have to go through the whole tiresome charade of dating Mr Clumsy, Mr Perfection, Mr Vain, Mr Loser, and sometimes even Mr Unfaithful.
All of them are Mr Wrong.
Sometimes, though, it isn’t easy to detect when you’re going out with the wrong guy. Sure, your man might have a few bad habits and flaws, but haven’t we all? Moreover, isn’t it these things that make us human?
If, however, your partner’s issues are now becoming more and more annoying, so much so that you’re beginning to question whether he’s wrong or right for you, you can take a step closer to relationship confidence by checking out our top 10 signs that you’re dating Mr Wrong. Let’s take a look.
Good relationships are built on compromise. Sometimes, we don’t want to have to let our man go away for a whole weekend because of the Super Bowl, but we relent as long as he won’t get too drunk.
Sometimes, our man doesn’t want to come out shopping with us, but he relents when he knows it will make us happy.
If your man is too selfish to compromise, and wants everything his own way, it’s a surefire sign that he’s not a keeper. Moreover, it’s also a sign that he just hasn’t grown up yet. Healthy, mature men know how to compromise. They know that if they invest in a relationship the right way, they’ll get a lot more out of it.
He Doesn’t Have Any Ambitions
“Dude! Did you see me blast that zombie in the face? Dude!!!”
If it seems as though all your boyfriend’s aspirations centre around video games and achieving stars and levels and all kinds of other stuff you don’t understand, it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have any real world ambitions. As long as he’s got you and his video games, he’s happy.
But a lack of ambition can be really damaging to a relationship, because it means he’s willing to settle for everything he’s got right now. This can make him stubborn and unwilling to change, and it can cause a relationship to stagnate.
You Still Haven’t Introduced Him To Your Family
When you know instinctively that a man is Mr Right, you waste no time introducing him to your nearest and dearest.
If you’re not sure about him, you hesitate; you’re just not sure that your mom and dad will be able to deal with him, and you’re definitely not sure whether they’ll like him.
If this is you right now, it’s a telltale sign that you’re with the wrong guy.
Time is precious and certainly doesn’t last forever for any of us. As such, you need your man to be reliable so that he sticks to plans and makes an effort to be on time.
If, however, he’s really flaky and often forgets that you’re supposed to be meeting up, you should probably reconsider this relationship. Don’t date someone who can’t even be bothered to remember dates. He’s just wasting your time.
Your Values Are Different
Values can really make or break a relationship. When I had to end a relationship for the first ever time, it was because our core values didn’t harmonise. I had turned to religion and was basing every decision and action I took in life around God, while my boyfriend was still an atheist.
At first, we thought it could work. I would go to church on a Sunday while he stayed a home. No big deal. Sure, I wanted him to come with me, but it wasn’t a deal breaker.
But then came the question of children and how we would raise them; I wanted to raise them in a religious atmosphere, where he did not.
More obstacles arose until eventually it became clear that this just wasn’t working.
It’s important to meet a man who shares your core values so that you’re always singing from the same song sheet. It’s okay to have different tastes and interests, but compatible values are fundamental.
He Has No Respect For Boundaries
Even Mr Right will ask you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable in the early stages of a relationship, but he’ll respect you enough to back off whenever you say you don’t want to do something.
Moreover, he’ll learn about your likes and dislikes and will eventually refrain from asking you to do anything that makes you feel awkward.
Mr Wrong, however, will persist until he either gets a Yes or a slap in the face.
He Makes You Feel Bad
Why would anyone want to be around someone who makes them feel bad about themselves?
I had a friend who once dated a guy who constantly put her down, not just privately but also publicly. He would disgrace her in front of her friends, telling her she failed a job interview because she just wasn’t good enough.
If a man doesn’t make you feel happy, it’s a massive warning sign that he’s Mr Wrong. Your boyfriend should be your first point of call when you need a shoulder to cry on, and it’s his obligation to raise you up whenever you feel down.
You Have To Make Excuses For Him
“Yeah, he got angry but he’s had a bad year.”
“I’m sorry that he lashed out earlier, but to be fair you did provoke him.”
It’s natural to defend our partner, but if you keep on making excuses for your man’s inexcusable behaviour, it’s probably time to find a man who respects those around him.
You Can’t Trust Him
A healthy relationship is built on trust. It’s as simple as that. If you feel like you can’t trust your boyfriend right now, what does it say about the state of your relationship?
Maybe he tells little white lies, or perhaps he gets really secretive about things. Maybe he never lets you see his phone, or perhaps something he said about his whereabouts just doesn’t make sense.
Naturally, you might not want to call him out on his dishonesty, because a part of you might feel as though you’re making all this up and he’s actually a good guy. But if your gut instinct says you can’t trust him, you should probably listen to it.
You Can’t Be Yourself
We should be able to be ourselves around our partner more than anyone else. They’re the ones who are mean to support us and love us no matter how silly we are.
But if your partner makes you feel bad for being yourself, so much so that you have to wear a mask and walk on eggshells just to impress them, it’s a clear sign that he’s Mr Wrong.